20 Tips - How to Write Good

Some amusing ‘plays on words’ from New York Times language expert William Safire and advertising executive and copywriter Frank LaPosta Visco.

The humour comes from the fact that the sentence does exactly what it tells us not to do.

Taken from February's issue of Chinwag International Student Magazine

1. Always avoid alliteration.
2. Always pick on the correct phrasal verb.
3. Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
4. Contractions aren’t necessary.
5. Don’t never use no double negatives.
6. Don’t overuse exclamation marks!!!!!
7. Don’t repeat yourself, or say again what you have said before.
8. Don’t use commas, that, are not, necessary.
9. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
10. One should never generalize.
11. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
12. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
13. Parenthetical words however must be enclosed in commas
14. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
15. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
16. Subject and verb always has to agree.
17. Understatement is always the absolute best.
18. Use the apostrophe in it’s proper place and omit it when its not needed.
19. Use youre spell chekker to avoid mispeling and to catch typograhpical errers.
20. Who needs rhetorical questions?

* The title of this piece ‘How to Write Good’ is deliberately bad English. ‘Good’ is an adjective and should be used with a noun. To modify a verb we need to use ‘well’ i.e. ‘How to Write Well’.

Essential Verbs - Have

The verb ‘have’ is another verb which is used frequently in English and learning its uses will help you improve your langaugae skills.

‘Have/Has’ as a ‘dynamic’ verb.

‘Have’ is used as a main verb to describe some actions:

Eating and Drinking. ‘To breakfast’, or ‘to lunch’ is possible but we normally use: ‘Have breakfast’, or ‘to have’ lunch,
Other examples: Have dinner/a drink/tea/a burger.

Cleaning and Washing. ‘To wash’, or ‘to shave’ are quite normal but we can use: ‘Have a wash’, or ‘have a shave’ (the verb of bath is ‘bathe’ but we normally use ‘have a bath).
Other examples: Have a shower (‘take’ is also possible for these verbs but is more common in US English).

Leisure Activities. ‘To have’ collocates with a lot of words describing activities and like most collocations they are best learnt as if they were a single word:
For example we: Have a holiday/a break/a rest/time off (‘take’ is also possible for these verbs).

‘Have’ as a possessive. (‘have/has + noun).

We use ‘have’ + ‘noun’ to say we own or possess something.
For example: I have a car. She has two sisters. (use the verb ‘to be + adjective’ to say what something is/is like- is tall or is 30 years old).
With negatives and questions you need the auxiliary ‘do’. For example: Neg form: I don’t have/She doesn’t have... 
Question form: Do you have/Does he have..?

‘Have/has got’ as a possessive (‘have/has got + noun).

‘Have/has got + noun’ is used more in British English and more in conversation. For example: I have got a car/She has two sisters.
* The big difference is there is no auxiliary. For example: 

The neg form: I haven’t/She hasn’t... Question form: Have you/Has she got...? 

55 Ways of Saying 'Drunk'.

As the weekend is here, how about some words to describe the state of drunkenness?

Be careful using these words because they are slang and have different levels of politeness- for example telling your 80 year old home-stay mother that last night you were 'fucked up' is never a good idea. 

Also slang words come into and go out of fashion very quickly. The word 'pickled' is almost never used these days and might only be used in understatement as a joke. You might describe someone who is extremely drunk as 'a little pickled'.

Furthermore, get the slang wrong and it can sound ridiculous. Take 'rat assed'. Tell someone that all the people in the pub ' had the asses of rats' and they will still be laughing this time next year.

To give you some idea I have graded the words from one to four- 1 mild to 4 strong.

I have also marked them with an 'OF' if they are now out of date or old fashioned. Most are either UK or USA English (sorry, other English speaking countries) and I have indicated which are which. 

3 sheets to the wind. 1, Becoming rare. Annihilated 2, Rarely used. Arseholed  3, Quite common UK (note the UK spelling of 'arse' not 'ass'.

Battered 2 Bent 2 Rarely used. Blitzed 2 Blotto 1, Very OF. Bombed 2 Boozed 2, Rare. Buzzed 2 USA.

Cabbaged 2, Rare (but I like it). Fizzucked 2, Very rare (but again I like it). Fucked up 4, Common, particularly USA. 

Gassed 2, USA. Hammered 2, UK. Hosed 2,USA. Juiced 2,USA. Legless 2, UK.Loaded 2 quite OF. 

Messed up 2 Common, particularly USA. Moellered/Mullered 2, UK. Rarely used.

Off (one's) tits 3, UK. Common. Out of (one's) tree 2, UK.Pickled 1, Very OF, UK. Pie-eyed 1, Very OF, UK.

Piss ass drunk 4, Rarely used  UK. Pissed 3, Most common UK (means 'angry' USA). Plastered 1, Not as common now.

Rat-arsed 3, UK. Rat-assed  3, USA. Ripped 2. Ripped to the tits 4 UK. Roasted 1, rarely used. 

Sauced 1,  Not as common now.Shit-canned 4, Rare in the UK. Shit-faced 4, Common in the UK.

Slaughtered 2 Smashed 2  Smoked 2, USA. Snookered 2, Rarely used UK. 

Soused, Rare in the UK. Steaming 2, Nearly out of use in the UK.Tanked 2, USA Tanked up 2, Becoming rare UK.

Three sheets to the wind 1, Becoming rare. Tight 1, OF UK  Tipsy 1, Very OF UK

Toasted 1 Rare in the UK. Trashed 2. Twisted 2. Wacked 2.  Wankered 4, Quite common UK.

Wasted 2, Common. Wrecked  2, Common. Zonked 2, Becoming less common.


There are many more words, expressions and similes which use the structure:
As + adj for drunk + as a + noun. E.G. 'As pissed as a fart' 4 Common UK.

All English speaking countries- Australia, Canada, Ireland, New Zealand etc- have a rich vocabulary of slang words that I am not aware of and have not be able to include. 

Please send me your favourites.

Have a great weekend and... Cheers!!

7 Ways to Improve your Academic Writing.

Academic writing is obviously different to other types of writing. Firstly, you will need a more formal vocabulary. The thing to remember is that you can write to a format. When you learn this it will become much easier.

1. Plan.
Thinking about what you are going to write before you write it will ensure that your writing will have a logical progression- English academic writing generally has a linear progression from A-B-C-D.

2. Structure.
You can use variations on a '5 Paragraph Format'.
Paragraph 1: Introduction
Paragraph 2: Body 1
Paragraph 3 Body 2
Paragraph 4 Body 3
Paragraph 5: Conclusion

This format will make it easier for the reader to navigate thought the ideas you are expressing.

3. Introduction.
The idea of the introduction is to state your position, not to start introducing your points. You may say something in general about the topic or, if you are answering an exam question you may want to paraphrase the question. It should grab the read4. Body Paragraphs.
Your first paragraph should contain your strongest argument. During the planning stage write your points down (these will be your 'topic sentences'- see point 5). In most pieces of academic writing you will need to present a counter argument. You should do this in the planning stage .

5. Topic Sentences.
Each paragraph should have a topic (there may be other related topics too).  After your topic you will have a 'controlling idea' this tells the reader where your argument is going. You will see this explained in my model.

6. Conclusion.
The conclusion will be similar in many ways to your introduction. It will state your position again but not introduce any new points. It is in the conclusion that you can give your opinions and sum up your arguments. You could make a general prediction about future outcomes. Your final sentence should be a 'global statement' or a 'call to action' (again you can see an example in the model).

7. Linking words.
In order to make your writing easier to follow you will have to use the words which: introduce, sequence ideas, give results, reasons, give examples,contrast ideas and finally conclude your piece. There are many different linking words and so it is important to know their function and how some connect clauses and how some connect noun phraser's attention. Remember do not copy the question


Here is a short, highly simplified (rather silly) model of an academic essay about cats.

Introduction
Many people say that dogs are man's best friend but they are not the only pet whose company people enjoy.

(This introduction is a general statement and we know now that the essay is going to be about the advantages of having a cat.).

Body
Firstly, cats can be just as affectionate as dogs
(sequencing word + the controlling idea 'affectionate').

For instance they often purr and cuddle up when they are being stroked
(example word + example of cats being affectionate).

Furthermore, when they are not being affectionate they can be very playful.
(addition word + another example)

However, many people claim that cats are cold. For example...
(contrast word introducing a counter argument and example).

Other 'body' paragraphs would follow a similar pattern.

Conclusion
To sum up, with their affectionate, playful nature and... cats make an ideal pet
(conclusion word and a summary, ending with a general statement).

.

12 Ways to Improve your Speaking.

Speak..!!! It sounds obvious but many learners revert to their native language as soon as they leave the classroom.
Yes, you know who you are.

Mimic... Learning phonetic symbols and using them to find how words are pronounced is very good but it is difficult to remember each word individually.  Try to copy the sound of English paying particular attention to the stress and intonation. I have heard learners imitate English people as a joke and their English sounds much better.

Get stressed... English is a stress-timed language in which syllables are stressed at approximately regular intervals. Unstressed syllables are shortened to fit this rhythm (this makes the English language good for rock and pop music).
Listen to the rhythm and mimic it.

Listen to English music... This is again another good way to get the rhythm of English into your head.

Stress the important words... Remember that the stress in a sentence generally falls in the important words- verbs, nouns, negative auxiliaries and modal verbs, adverbs and adjectives, the subject and object of the sentence. Unstressed words are normally- auxiliaries, modal verbs, prepositions, pronouns and connecting words like ‘and’. By stressing the normally unstressed words (changing the intonation you will give your sentence a different meaning.

Record yourself... Most people find this embarrassing at first but it gives you a very good idea of how you sound.  This type of feedback is very useful.

Compare yourself with English speakers... You can find examples of people talking on the BBC iPlayer: http://www.bbc.co.uk/learningenglish Listen to a few sentences.  Record the sentences saying them yourself. Then compare your recording with how the person on the recording sounds. Try to get your English to sound similar.

Read and listen. The more English you are exposed to the more it will become instinctive. Remember though to read and listen to things that are not too high for your level or you will lose interest.

Develop intra-personal dialogue. 
Put simply, practice things in your head. When you are on the bus or walking somewhere rather than listen to music or texting friends, have a conversation with yourself about a particular topic-maybe what you can see (good for practicing present simple and continuous), or the weather ‘It’s a nice day, isn’t it? I was going to stay home but maybe I’ll...’ Better to do this in silence or you will find people looking at you strangely!

Learn jokes and practice telling them with correct stress and intonation. To tell a joke well you have to make it sound like an interesting story and to do this you will have toconcentrate on using good stress and intonation. You can also learn jokes that use a particular tense or structure and this will help your grammar too.

Start an English club. Get together with your friends, classmates and any English speakers you know (you could also do a language exchange with them)for conversation. Try to pick a topic beforehand. Introduce new vocabulary relevant to the topic and think about the main tenses and structures you will need.

Don’t worry about making mistakes. Making mistakes is part of the learning process. If you are learning or practicing something new, then you want to be fairly accurate. Then you can ask your teacher, friends or class mates to correct you but if you are having a conversation you can concentrate on fluency and not worry about errors. 

Remember:  If you’re not making mistakes, you’re not doing anything.’  - John Wooden.

15 Ways to Improve Your English

1. Read as much as possible. 

Research has found that people who read improve their English significantly. You can go to Amazon Kindle and find lots of free downloads.

2. Read the right material. Find something that suits your level (graded readers are good for this). If the material is too difficult you will put it down and not pick it up again.

3. Read websites. BBC, CNN or

Google News are good. Read magazines that are about something you are interested in. Newspapers can be too idiomatic.

4. Listen to a podcast every day. You can do this while you are going to school, or work, or on the bus. You can find things on iTunes or BBC iPlayer and again: listen to things you are interested in.

5. Use English subtitles when you watch something, particularly films or news programs. Don’t worry if you don’t understand every word at first. because you will eventually understand more and more.

6.  Write down useful vocabulary.  

Use the sections in this magazine for writing new vocabulary Remember to include dependent prepositions and collocations. You can also write down the synonym and put the word into a sentence so you know the context.

7. Try to understand words from the context rather than using a dictionary or a translator. When you learn a word from context to are more likely to remember it.

8. Learn phrases used in particular situations. For example: If you have a job interview there are standard phrases you can include in your conversation. Again you can use the sections in this magazine for this.

9. Practice situations in your head. From going to buy something to having a job interview rehearse conversations in your head using the phrases and words you have learned. 

10. Change the language on your phone. This will get you thinking more in English and you will learn new words.

11. Change the language on your computer operating system and your social media. This will also help you to learn more words and think more in English.

12. Learn 5 new words and 2 new phrases every school day. Try to use them when you are with your friends.

13. Mimic native English speakers. Learning English phonetically is very difficult, so try to copy the rhythm and sound of the English language.

14. Be realistic. Learners usually want to progress as quickly as possible but going to a higher level does not mean that you will automatically become better. There is something to learn in any class and knowing the grammar rules does not mean that you are 

accurate or fluent.

15. Don’t worry about making your accent perfect. It’s an important part of your cultural identity to keep your accent. Native English speakers enjoy hearing English spoken with an accent.If native speakers find it difficult to understand you ask your teacher to work on the problem areas of your accent.

Thanks to Snapshots for the cartoon.

Welcome to Chinwag.

Chinwag International Student Magazine 

is published in the UK and distributed free to 5000+ international language learners visiting Brighton and Hove and now Worthing. 

Our magazine and our blog are designed to help learners improve their English and both feature graded articles and English language practice. 

The magazine also has practice for language learners but in addition, it has features on local news and events, what to do, what to see and where to go in Brighton and Hove in addition there are also graded articles related to Brighton musicians, artists and writers. 

There is a section containing classroom material for teachers and other reference sections which contain functional language a visitor may need during their stay.  

Our aim is to promote the great things to do and fantastic places to see while they are in Brighton and Hove and Worthing, many of which international students can miss out on while they are here, and help to make their stay more enjoyable.

Furthermore, we aim to improve our reader's English and enhance their future learning experience.